RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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