so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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