Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize