The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
True college students do jello shots in the library
And then he peed in my hair
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