Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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