how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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