My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize