Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
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I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He shit in the fireplace
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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