weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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