Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
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I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
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We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
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