$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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