his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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