i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize