i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize