i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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