Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize