Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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