Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
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Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
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Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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