I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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