Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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