i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
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