I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
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"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize