Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize