hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
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