why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
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Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize