When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize