I just saw a hot homeless man
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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