The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize