Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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