I'm eating all of the evidence.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm passing your future prison.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i am craving dick and cupcakes
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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