he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize