if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
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Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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