Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize