just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize