Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
it's like heaven, but drunker
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
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