This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
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she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
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Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
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