if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize