its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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