just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize