Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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