he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
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he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
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First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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