Kareoke will never be a sober sport
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
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You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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