Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
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Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
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conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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