I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize