my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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