She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize