I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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