I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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