haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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