some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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